Was chatting w friends about keeping diaries/journals.
no one seems to really keep them anymore. too busy to write, probably wont read.
but i do like reading other ppl's entries. they scribble their random, jumbled thoughts.
their doubts, questions, random whimsical fantasies.
and it's like a window to their mindsets, to their characters, their inclinations.
like watching machines tinker & work.
i havent written a proper blog entry for a few months.
i find that writing helps me to organise my thoughts & emotions.
so i shall pick up that habit again :)
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the blogskin.
i find it a little too complicated. simplicity & clarity is best.
but i cant bear to change it. it represents what used to be me.
and it's uniquely mine.
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changes to my environment;
now that ive graduated, i no longer have a fixed environment, fixed schedule, fixed spending.
i used to have my own room (shared w yanni ♥), a structured timetable, a daily allowance.
now im room-less (T_________T) w no place to call my own, free to arrange my schedule as i see fit, and support my own spending.
and i find myself not as organised as i would like to be.
my cupboard is in a mess, my camping stuff arent nicely packed, my schedule's free enough for me to catch up w friends but i end up having no time to do things i need to do, and i'm not managing my expenditure!
extreme dislike.
so from now on i shall get myself back on track!
i will do a to-do-list w packing my cupboard&camping stuff at the top of the list, use my organiser and make the best of whatever time i have, and manage my spending!
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changes to my person;
i look back at what i wrote, what i did, what my motivations were.
i used to be more idealistic, more sincere, more wholehearted in whatever i did.
if i said i'ld do something, i definitely would. 'treasure', 'cherish', 'honour' were very important to me.
i stuck steadfastly to my ideals, i tried my hardest in everything, i wanted to give only my best.
now i'm more balanced, more realistic, more passive.
my aim used to be a master at one trade. Now i'll be happy to be the Jack of all trades.
my ideals have not wavered, but i dont try as hard to achieve the perfect outcome.
the effort to get that final 1% could be better used and achieve 10% of another goal.
i used to try to maintain all my relationships, but now i only give my all into relationships i feel are worthwhile.
i become more passive with all others..
in a way i also become happier, because my relationships gain in quality, but drop in quantity.
i used to be a happy-dappy person 24/7, and i liked to stay happy.
ive grown to be more pensive, a deeper thinker, more introspective.
i like to think i've become more stable, mature & anchored as a result.
im happy with the way ive grown, though i miss some of that blind faith & innocence.
ive also come to lose some of my enthusiasm, but i shall try hard to regain that :D
live life to the fullest, do what i can while i can.
LIVE W PASSION & ENTHUSIASM! "It's better to try &fail. than to never know and always wonder."
Labels: a new start. :)
of peas and barbarians;
OOGA?
